“On behalf of all of your fans, it’s really disappointing to be meeting you here,” Meyers said, serving as an audience analog.
After Cosby explained why he actually enjoys prison — namely because of all the access to Jello — he told his cellmate how he wanted to go down to the yard and explain to all the other prisoners how they’re living their life wrong (in a not-so-subtle reference to Cosby’s real-life “Pound Cake Speech”) and need up pull up their pants.
“I would be super interested in seeing you do that,” Meyers deadpanned.
After a guard came by to announce they’d be doing cell checks, Cosby quickly pulled out contraband from under his bunk in the form of a six-foot sub sandwich.
“They put me in jail for liking salty foods!” Cosby argued.
“That’s not why you’re in jail,” Meyer’s shot back.
After meeting Cosby’s pet turtle and listening to his delusional ranting, Meyer’s eventually admitted, “I almost feel bad for you. You’re an old man [who’s] going blind.”
However, he also asked the question some people have been asking for months: “Can’t you just die?”
Eventually, Meyers’ just asks the guard to put him in solitary confinement to get away from Cosby, leaving the old, disgraced icon to his own devices in the lonely cell.